The paradigm of gender roles is not just dated, its detestable because it denies the existance and validity of anyone who falls outside of the expected parameters.  Where in this fits my uber-genius computer hacker transgendered girl friend?  The childfree by choice people? The career women?  The stay-at-home dad? Where are their faces when it comes to our culture?  More importantly, who is making these distinctions for us?  Is it us?  Is it for us?

As an IT professional, a childfree person, and small business owner, I'd have to say it's certainly not me, nor is it my consort, nor is it many women and men I know.  I don't accept those standards because to do so would require me to not accept myself. Nobody should accept standards that do not support who they are.

I also don't accept them in my Craft.  One of the most important things about the practice of magic is that it removes limitations. Pushing gender roles adds limitations and is antithetical to one's work in the Craft.  One of the most important practices is in removing limitations between the here and now and my greatest desires.  "Girls are like this," and "Women have a greater tendency to be this way" are detrimental to this goal, so I firmly reject them in my life, my society, and most certainly in my spirituality.  Human beings are to find their path in life and to follow it.  Whatever that path is, find it and follow it, and never ever listen to anyone who dares to dictate your destiny.

Those who reinforce gender stereotypes sometimes use subtle and alluring messages, messages that might even sound like they're building you up.  "Women are so nurturing.  Women are more in touch with their emotions."  It sounds lovely on the surface, but its effects are less than so.  When these statements are made, the unspoken expectations to live up to them come along with them.  If you're a woman who is more in touch with her logical side than her emotional side, there's a danger of her not being seen as a "real woman."  I've often heard among people that one isn't a "real woman" until one has children. (Well, what's this thing between my legs here?)  Even worse, I've heard among some neo-pagans express that one can not be a "real high priestess" if one doesn't have children. (Are you fucking kidding me?)  What seem to start out as nice messages are the first steps down a path with a rather unpleasant end for anyone who falls outside of those expectations.

Sun gods and moon goddesses, earth mothers and sky fathers - the gender role generalization that seems all-pervasive through many lines of thought in the various facets of contemporary pagan practice has always left me feeling ill at ease.  It subtlely wraps a line of limitation around the practitioners.  Women are maternal, healers, intuitives, and a whole host of other gender roles that fall under the banner of non-linear and mystical.  Men are hunters, sages, explorers, builders, innovaters, and so many other ideas that reflect the virtues of the logical and linear.  It's written there in the (mostly Western) mythology, so it must be true.  All too often, pagan "men's mysteries" and "women's mysteries" reinforce those virtues and quietly discourage others.  They inevitably serve to confine one's potential.

I would rather embrace the whole person and all of the possibilities, instead.  We are so much more than our chromosomes. We're beings of infinite potential.  For this reason, I prefer to simply explore the mysteries without tacking gender expectations onto them.  The human experience is so much greater than that; our gender defines a very small part of the whole realm of possibility.

Likewise, I never use genders to refer to elements or magical correspondences.  "The masculine principle is active, the feminine principle is passive." "Basil is a masculine herb." "Water is a feminine element." Again, these phrases are anathema to my practice.  I will sometimes use terms like active and passive, projecting and receiving, but never in association with gendered terms.

There's no deep archetypal connection of moons being associated strictly with women and suns being associated with men in pagan practices of the past.  A quick bit of research turned up the names of dozens of gender-bending lunar gods and solar goddesses.  There was even a moon goddess and a sun god from Japanese mythology who switched places after the moon goddess got tired of listening to everyone having sex all night long.  If you look at it from a wider perspective than what's reinforced in Western culture, there's no evidence that women are inherently more lunar and men are inherently more solar. The mythological evidence isn't there to support it, either.

Many in the Craft work with a solar god and lunar goddess.  That's perfectly fine - we often do the same.  The point of my writing this is to express how the characteristics should not be stuck to a certain gender, thus making some feel limited in their access to those ideas. The sun and the moon do not have chromosomes and do not have sexual characteristics.  Any gender valuation is imposed by humans creating gods in their own images.  We must take care to not fall into the fallacy of thinking that because one group associates the goddess with the moon that all women embody (or should embody) the characteristics that they attribute to the moon.

We are all individuals, and any and all of those qualities which we value are what makes us great. Emphasis on correlating categories in which we fit ends up valuing categories over individuals. This has no place in my Craft. In our circle, we exalt the individual, not the categorical expectation.

Moon gods:

Aglibol (Palmarene mythology)
Almaqah (Ethiopian/Yemeni mythology)
Chandra or 'Indu' (Hindu mythology)
Chons (Egyptian mythology)
Fati (Polynesian mythology)
Hubal (Arabian mythology)
Iah (Egyptian mythology)
Jarih (Canaanite mythology)
Kalfu (Vodun)
Kaskuh (Hittite mythology)
Kidili (Mandjindja mythology)
Kusuh (Hurrian mythology)
Mani (Norse mythology)
Men (Phrygian mythology)
Nanna (Sumerian mythology)
Napir (Elamite mythology)
Sin (Mesopotamian mythology)
Ta'lab (Arabian mythology)
Tarqiup Inua (Inuit mythology)
Tecciztecatl (Aztec mythology)
Thoth (Egyptian mythology)
Tsukuyomi (Japanese mythology)
Wadd (Arabian mythology)

Sun goddesses:

Aimend (Irish mythology)
Aine (Irish mythology)
Albina (Etruscan mythology)
Álfröðull (Norse mythology)
Amaterasu (Japanese mythology)
Ame-no-Uzume-no-Mikoto (Japanese mythology)
Arinna (Hittite mythology)
Arinniti (Hittite mythology)
Atanua (Polynesian mythology)
Atarapa (Polynesian mythology)
Bastet (Egyptian mythology)
Beaivi (Sami mythology)
Chicomecoatl (Aztec mythology)
Chup Kamui (Ainu mythology) (was originally a moon goddess, but switched places with her brother after one night she overheard all the adulterous behavings below and apparently didn't care for all the squeaking mattresses.)
Eki (Basque mythology)
Gnowee (Australian aboriginal mythology)
Iusaaset (Egyptian mythology)
Malina (Inuit mythology)
Marici (Buddhist)
Mawu (Dahomey mythology)
Saranu (Hindu mythology)
Saulė (Baltic mythology)
Shapash (Canaanite mythology)
Sól / Sunna (Norse mythology)
Ushas (Hindu mythology)
Wala (Australian aboriginal mythology)
Wuriupranili (Australian aboriginal mythology)
Xihe (Chinese mythology)
Yhi (Australian aboriginal mythology)
Zaria (Slavic mythology)
Étaín (Irish mythology)